This is a really old joke that I was told as a child, and it just popped up in my head a few minutes ago… I thought it was pretty good… It’s a little long winded, and not exactly a clean joke, so here goes…
There are three friends that have been friends for many years. One was from Poland, one was from Mexico, and one was an American. They ran a business together, and were quite successful. One day, in the local paper, they saw an advertisement for a contest about who could grow the world’s largest pet pig. The prize was one million dollars. All three of them thought that they could do it and win the prize money.
So they went out and found the largest pig they could buy locally, and bought it. Then they started thinking about how to make it as large as possible as fast as possible. After discussing it among themselves, they decided that not only were they going to feed this pig tremendous amounts of food, but they were not going to let it poop so that it would just keep getting larger and larger as it ate more food. They found a huge cork, and corked the pig’s butt so it couldn’t poop and started feeding it non-stop.
The day of the contest arrived, and the pig was so big that they couldn’t transport it to the contest site, so they arranged to have the contest judges come to the pig. Upon arriving, the judges could not believe how large this pig was. They immediately gave the award to the three friends. The three friends were absolutely happy about the money.
After the contest judges left, the three friends decided to go ahead and take the cork out so the pig could operate as normal. BUT, none of them wanted to do it for fear of getting covered in pig poop. So they decided to rent a trained monkey to do it instead.
The monkey arrived, and the trainer showed the monkey what they wanted it to do. So the monkey got in position behind the pig and awaited it’s signal. The man from Poland stood about 10 feet away behind the pig. The Mexican was a little more cautious, and decided to stand about 20 away behind the pig. The American was the most cautious of all the three friends and stood about 30 feet away from the back end of the pig. The signal was given to the monkey to pull the cork out.
The results were amazing. So much pig poop came out that the friend from Poland was completely buried in it. The Mexican was buried up to his waste, and the American got a good coating on his ankles. The monkey was nowhere in sight. In total shock, the American ran up to the Mexican and helped dig him out. Then both he and the Mexican slogged through the pig poop, found their Polish friend, and started to dig him out. Much to their suprise, he was laughing his head off.
In utter confusion, they looked at each other, then looked at him and said, “What’s so damn funny?!? You’re buried up to your head in pig shit! That’s not funny at all!”
The Polish man said, “True! True! However, you should have seen that monkey trying to put the cork back in!”
[...] InsideMS: you folks who are passionate about following comments here have my respect. Man, I don’t even try on the internal InsideMS blog. It’s overwhelming. You’d think that everyone got their frustrations out once-and-for-all right here until you read through the quantity – and quality – of the comments within the InsideMS blog. What’s LisaB going to do with all of this? There’s still praise for her smattered amongst the comments, sure, but people are angry over just about everything you see right here… and then some. The cork is out of the pig, so to say, and the unhappiness is not just on some snarky external anonymous blog with dubious participants. [...]